David Kirkpatrick

March 25, 2008

Clinton and time travel

Filed under: Arts, et.al., Media, Politics — Tags: , , , — David Kirkpatrick @ 6:13 pm

(I’ve been reading some classic science fiction from the 40s and 50s, so I’m blaming my time travel trope on that. Now, here’s a bit of sci fi political satire.)

September 2008 — International courts are looking into the pall that’s befallen the entire planet. Many blamed Hillary Clinton for the bleakness after winning the Democratic Party nomination. Little did they know just correct that idea has turned out to be. Clinton has been using a time machine during this entire primary season.

The problem began manifesting itself very subtly, but once certain authorities learned the source things became more clear. As is turns out, no one ever really used the machine with any amount of regularity — certainly no where near as often as Clinton did to squeeze extra campaign time into her schedule.

The problem is heavy use of the machine creates multiples time paradoxes in our current time thread. These paradoxes have the effect of producing great amounts of uncertainty which lead in a straight line to extreme doubt, and then progresses to crippling fear. Inadvertently, Clinton destroyed Obama’s message of change and hope with the time machine paradox artifacts of doubt and fear. Once the pall became heavy enough, Obama himself barely had the energy to keep fighting and the superdelegates lost the will to save the Democratic Party from what is now seen as a colossal mistake.

The major problem for both the party, and the candidate, is Hillary was told of the device by her husband when he was president. She never attained the security clearance necessary for this knowledge, but presidential wives have always been given some leeway. Bill’s mistake was providing Hillary with location and access codes of the time machine. This knowledge proved to be irresistible as her campaign cratered before a stronger candidate in Obama.

Now Clinton is the Democratic Party nominee, Obama is probably out of politics forever after the experience and international courts are considering drastic actions against Clinton.

It seems her actions have opened multiple threads in our time stream and alien intelligence that originally provided the device has been in contact. They are going to clean up the paradox issue for us, but possibly will destroy the original thread to remove the Clinton threat from the stream of time. Sadly, all of us are part of that time stream and will most likely blinker out of existence as we know once the paradox problem is fixed.

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